“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
I Peter 4:8
One week down, two more to go!
Quick recap for everyone: Last week, my husband and I decided to participate in the 21-Day Love Challenge that I got from Tiffany over at Lavender Vines and I’ve included the original post below:
So following this list, let’s just jump right into it!
Day 1: Take the Free 5 Love Languages Test
This test was incredibly interesting and gave a lot of good information. Unfortunately, I have not been able to read the book, written by Gary Chapman, but thankfully, you don’t have to for this quiz. Now, for those of you who don’t know anything about the book, it is composed of 5 different basic “love languages” that pretty much all people have and use to express their love and affection. These include: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Words of Affirmation. The quiz rates each of these with a number from 1-12 depending on how you answer each question. The higher the number, the more that you use that language. I won’t explain too much further, but I do suggest that you get your hands on a copy of the book, or if you’re interested in the test, you can find that here: Free Five Love Language Quiz
- 9 – Acts of Service
- 8 – Words of Affirmation
- 5 – Physical Touch
- 5 – Receiving Gifts
- 3 – Quality Time
According the test, it’s really the highest score, or the highest two scores that make up your love language. So for me, that would be Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. I wasn’t actually surprised by these results. I am most definitely more impressed when my husband goes out of his way to do things that ultimately make my life a little less stressful.
For example, a couple of months ago, I went out-of-town for a night to go visit my sister. I ended up taking a different vehicle that my normal around-town Chevy. When I came home, I found that my husband had gotten my windows tinted, had the inside completely detailed, and the gas tank was full. I was so excited!
- 9 – Physical Touch
- 8 – Acts of Service
- 7 – Quality Time
- 5 – Words of Affirmation
- 1 – Receiving Gifts
The fact that his top language is Physical Touch did not surprise me even a little bit. He is most definitely an affectionate person. Which, I’ll admit, has been quite difficult for me to accept as his form of communication. Physical Touch is a bit farther down on my list, but that doesn’t mean that I’m just a stick-in-the-mud that doesn’t like to be touched. I have just come to realize that I definitely like my space. Our sweet little cherubs seem to always be touching me. a l w a y s. They are both like their father in that they love to be constantly wanting some sort of physical contact with Momma. Therefore, Momma just wants to scream sometimes from all the constant touching. It’s making my cringe just thinking about it! But I’m trying to be better in this area for the sake of my wonderful husband.
I think that learning these things about each other will help us to communicate better in the future. We most definitely had some problems with this in the past. To be completely transparent, we’ve had some arguments over petty little things turn into all-out fights. We know that this is terribly unhealthy, not only for us, but for our babies. As they get older, we have been working tirelessly to prevent them from witnessing the negative side to marriage. We want to be good, strong, Christian examples for them in their future relationships.
Day 2: Don’t Say Anything Negative All Day
Honestly, I don’t feel like this should really count. Technically, we succeeded and didn’t say anything negative to each other. However, my husband was out-of-town for most of the day, so we weren’t necessarily around each other to say anything negative.
Sooo… We’re going to just not count this day.
Day 3: Do an Unexpected Act of Kindness
Not that we’re keeping score or anything, but if we were, I think my husband wins today.
My act of kindness was small, but appreciated (at least I hope). We decided to save some money and eat in last night. I almost always make him dinner, and then make his plate, as well. We were having DIY dinner entrees this time around in which, my husband requested a sandwich. It came to no surprise to him that I would, of course, make it for him.
However, Rafael is a little on the picky side, but I think he’s secretly embarrassed by it, so he won’t go to the point of refusing to eat if it’s not done the way he wants. Now, he prefers the crust off his sandwich, but it’s not really a big deal if it’s there, he’ll eat it anyway. Usually I’m busy trying to make not only his plate, but both the kids and my own, so he doesn’t mind that I leave it on most of the time (he understands I’m busy). So, I took the time to peel off the crust from around the edges, the way that he prefers. It’s a silly little request, but he thanked me and said that he really appreciated it. 🙂 So, hey. I’ll take it!
Now, his really was out of the norm. Backstory: I am the one that always does bath time, and then bedtime afterwards, mostly because he’s usually at work during that time. So when I expressed my slight concern of needing to work on my blog post for Monday, he took the initiative to give the kids a bath, dressed them for bed afterwards, got cups ready to go, and went to lay down with them, while I stayed at the kitchen table working on my post. I would have been perfectly content with just helping with bath time, but he really helped me out when I needed it.
Day 4: List Top 5 Reasons You Love Your Spouse
We both made our lists, but according to the challenge, we are supposed to present our lists to each other on day 21. Therefore, no spoilers. You guys will just have to wait 😉
Day 5: Make Your Spouses Favorite Meal
Honestly, this was a very difficult day. Not necessarily the challenge part alone, but just in general. After about 6pm, everything sort of fell apart in the Winder household.
Between my sweet little boy with nasty diaper rash (which lead to pee and poop inevitably winding up on my floor), and the hell-on-wheels little girl that ended up butt-naked in the backyard covered in mud, we were having an interesting day, and it didn’t stop there.
I’ll spare you the details, cause it’s a lot. Anyway, instead of just picking his favorite meal, Rafael insisted that we try something new. This determination lead to us leaving the store the night before with two very large pieces of premade chicken cordon blue from the deli at the supermarket. I looked up a recipe on Pinterest for the breadcrumb coating, and realized I had just cleaned out my cabinets last week and threw out all of our flour that had yet to be replenished. I literally needed like 3 tablespoons worth… That’s it.
So I called in reinforcements… The husband. But unfortunately, while I was losing my mind at home, dinner being hung up without flour, my well-meaning husband has no sense of urgency as he goes across town on this quest. When he finally gets home (about an hour after the original no-flour complaint), I finish the recipe and get it thrown in the oven. I was so frustrated, I didn’t even stop to take a picture.
Chicken cooked 3 different times, because the breast surrounding the ham and cheese was so thick and wouldn’t quite cook all the way. Not at all what we were expecting. Taste was mediocre unfortunately, so we really didn’t eat much of it. We had very high hopes and were sadly let down. But, I suppose it’s the thought that counts!
However, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t totally and completely ready for that day to be over.
Day 6: Text Your Spouse Hello “Just Because”
Welllllll… Rafael and I are a strong combination of goofy and sarcasm, to be completely honest. Due to this fact, this is how our conversation turned out…
In my defense, he started it! 😉
Day 7: Plan a Movie Night
Since this post is coming out on this day, it’s currently in the works. Movie night won’t be able to work this evening because of other plans happening. However, I’m waiting on a response from a babysitter about having a date night one day next week. That counts as “planning,” right? This is a bit of a confusing day for me. I’ll update you guys on next weeks post.
Anyway, this was a long one, so thank you so much for making it to the end!! I appreciate all of the love and support that you guys have continued to pour out. For those keeping up, how did your week go? Any extra challenging parts? Comment and let me know!
Any other questions, comments, or concerned are welcome! Thanks!